Noir

Maybe it’s just because it’s storming outside as I’m writing this, but I was just thinking, it would be so cool to star in my own noir detective story. You know, the black-and-white TV shows/movies. The detective is the last one at the precinct, working into the late hours as he/she/they try to piece together a case. I mean yes, a “he” traditionally played these roles but c’mon it’s 2021, folks.

The detective is studying a mountain of case files. Something doesn’t add up. All evidence points to one suspect, an unlikely one. The detective rubs their face and stares at the rain teeming against their office window. Their inner monologue goes off, something like, “It’s nights like these, cases like these, that make me question my own judgement. But not one thing made me question myself more than her.”

On cue, the prime suspect walks in, inexplicably dressed like a flapper or some other get-up that’s sensual and dazzling. Let’s choose to ignore that this PD must keep really odd hours if a suspect is coming in in the middle of the night to be questioned. It all adds to the drama, the mystique, the sexiness. The suspect is a definite femme fatale, confident and witty. Given that most of these shows seemingly took place between the 1930s and 60s, if a woman acted like that, she must’ve been wicked. She says something that leaves breadcrumbs toward her guilt without directly implicating herself. “Well, I surely don’t know what all this is about. But, I’ll tell you one thing, I just know this guy had it coming to him.”

You know, that type of show?

I can’t tell if I’d rather be the detective or the femme fatale. Really, I guess it depends on my mood. If I put on a good Billie Eilish song, like “You Should See Me in a Crown”, I get strong femme fatale vibes. Plus, there is something intoxicating about the subversion of it all. Especially in those types of shows, no one expects a woman to be cunning, cleaver and funny. It’s the kind of against-the-grain confidence that really resonates with me, if that makes sense.

Other times, like if I’ve just watched a murder mystery, I think I’d make a five-star detective. I feel like I could solve even the most complex cases. Though, I will admit, it is a lot easier to think you can solve things after you’ve seen the resolution. Hindsight is 20/20, after all.

Do any of you ever think about things like this or was this me just rambling somewhere out in left field? Do you imagine yourself as a detective, a femme fatale or some other type of villain? I’m interested to know your thoughts! Leave a comment below!