Growing in my self-confidence is one of my biggest goals right now. As I’ve mentioned before, for a long time, I trusted that other people knew better than me about the path forward. I think, in the blog posts I’ve made about this, I tend to oversimplify the achievement of growth. There is more to it then practicing affirmations and assuring yourself that you know what’s best.
In recent weeks, people in my life challenged me about the content I put on this blog. Essentially, the argument has become that some of the content is too dark for potential employers to see because there is still a big taboo around mental health. The solution they came up with was for me to private the site. Here is where I want to address the next step in nurturing your self-confidence. You have to also advocate for yourself. This is something that I’ve historically struggled to do. I had to say that I was not going to private the blog and I was going to continue to post.
I told myself that I was going to run my life. Now, I had to let everyone else know. This has unfortunately earned me a “stubborn” label to some. However, I feel there is a difference between constructive criticism that I can use to better myself and telling me that the art/advice I’m putting out needs to be silenced. In fact, if I’m wrong, please correct me in the comments!
Also, and one of my friends brought this up the other day, it is important that we dismantle the stigma around mental health and it’s occasional fluctuations. Making this blog private would only feed into the narrative that mental health is not for open discussion. That flies directly in the face of why I made this blog in the first place. Yes, a lot of what I post is poetry about some of my past struggles. It is often how I best express my feelings. However, I want people to know they are not alone in some of these struggles. Solidarity is the best way to combat solitude.
If we need one more example as to the negative treatment of mental health, a lot of the same people who encouraged me to keep this blog private were the ones who once told me I should change direction and talk more about my physical disability, my cerebral palsy. So let me pose a question, why is it OK to talk about a physical disability and not the various things we have going on mentally? Why would an employer prefer to read about me overcoming physical challenges but overcoming mental ones is off limits? Why aren’t these topics given equal value?
I understand this is a systemic issue. I’m hardly the first to talk about it but let’s just air our grievances a little longer. If nothing else, please let this post serve as a reminder that what you are going through is valid, whether you face struggles or not. I hope and pray that all of your days are trouble free but I also know that’s not how life works. There are going to be times where we struggle emotionally or mentally. No matter what you are going through, you deserve to be heard.
Hidden Jules 